Self-Awareness - Sometimes it can just bite you

So a couple of weeks ago, my sister Marjorie and her family (hubby and two little girls who were just about to turn 7 and 3) were visiting which is always a delight. I took a day off work to spend with them and had a great time. Here is a photo of me and my nieces:

Suz, Zoe, & Isabel

The whole day was fun, but we did finally get to go to a yarn shop in Jacksonville called Llamas and Llambs.

Llamas & Llambs in Jacksonville, OR

We'd been trying to go for the past several times they've been here and seemed to always hit the day it was closed so usually ended up going to Webster's in Ashland. Get it, like knitting a web... oh well, never mind... :) after which we came back to Grants Pass by wandering through the Applegate Valley which is invariably a nice drive. We picked up a take-n-bake pizza from Papa Murphy's, a really nice vegetarian pizza with a creamy garlic sauce, artichoke hearts, and spinach along with the normal veggie pizza veggies, and went back to my house to discuss kefir sodas, the culture of which I shared with sis, and kombucha, the culture of which she brought for me, and to eat pizza and mangoes.

When we finally returned to their house (where they were staying), I was recruited for story reading and the book chosen was called Good Morning Chick. It's about a chick that hatched from its egg and basically wandered about the farmyard to explore. When it fell into a puddle, my elder niece lamented, "Oh the frog is really mean to the chick." I thought to myself, my goodness, what kind of torture did they put into this book!?

Turns out the frog was laughing because the chick looked funny all wet.

Me: "Well Isabel, the chick does look funny."

Her face registered a look of shock - a combination of appalled and intrigued. Her eyebrows shot up, her head moved forward a little, and she formed a small smile of surprise. This reaction interested me and encouraged me to continue.

Me: "Look at him! He looks funny. And if the chick's feelings are hurt by that, then he needs to learn how to laugh at himself."

Isabel: "But the frog was mean..."

Me: "That's just a dumb old frog anyway. Who cares what he thinks?!"

Isabel smiled wide.

Her initial comment made me worry that she herself likely feels criticism deeply rather than being able to easily laugh things off. On the other hand, I was impressed with her insight to the pain of others, and her desire to protect and be nice to people.

I said what I did to help her be able to deal with insensitive comments that will find their way to her throughout her life. But later on, it occurred to me that an unpleasant outcome would be if Isabel were to take this as, "It's okay to be mean to others because they just shouldn't be so sensitive."

It reminds me of another scenario where self-awareness can have a negative side effect - in fashion, when we have little regard for how we look in our clothes, makeup, accessories, etc., we also don't really notice those details on others. But sheesh, as soon as I began to pay attention to dressing for my specific body type (thanks to missussmartypants.com), I right away began to notice whether others are dressing according to their body types. Dang! I don't want to notice that kind of thing on others! Can I not develop self-awareness without an equal awareness of others?

So back to the sensitivity bit: I do believe it is possible to be sensitive to others' feelings without being too touchy about other people's actions towards us. Maybe that takes another follow-up dose of self-awareness though...

What would be worse, in any case, is being one who comes off as rude to others ("they just need to toughen up") while taking offense easily at what is said to them. Oy vey.